Chaotic Heart
by i.am.a.little.star
Summary: bella can't find love in her tiny highschool. but when forks high gets some students from another school, bella tries to find someone who can love her for who she really is, not just the outer shell she creates.
1. frozen speed

Disclaimer: I only own the plot, and my left sock.

Chapter 1

_Bang bang bang_

Ugh. Mornings.

"Isabella! Are you up?"

"Yeah dad! You mind not banging on my wall?"

"Just making sure your up."

"Ugh!" I said as I got out of bed and made my way to the front door, holding it open.

"Bye bells. Have a good day at school. I love you." he said, going through the door to his partner, waiting on the curb in the police cruiser.

"yeah yeah" I mumbled while I closed and locked the door behind him. School. Good? I think not. I walked through the kitchen back to my room, my stomach groaning in protest of the early hour. When I got to my room, the little light on my blackberry was flashing red. I walked to it, noticing I had three new text messages. One from my friend Jasper, who I had fallen asleep on while texting last night. The other two were from my best friend Alice.

Belly- HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! I'll be over when you wake up. -alicat

Belly- I know you read my message. Call me. -alidoodles

Shit. I regretfully called Alice. Knowing her, she was in the mood to play 'Bella Barbie'. _Great. _I heard the phone click on. Silence. This was bad.

"...Hello? Alice?"

"Hi Bella," she said, sounding calm. This was bad, really bad. "Whats up?"

"Well, at the moment, the ceiling." I muttered, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Ha ha" she faked laughed. Then squealed "Today is the first day of junior year!"

"Yeah, wanna ditch?" I asked hopeful.

"We can't ditch!" She sounded shocked, as if I had suggested we streak naked through the mall. "Besides, we're getting those new students from the other school!" Our school was pretty small, only about 170 of us last year, so we were merging with another small school. All of us squeezing onto forks highs tiny campus. "Wait! What are you wearing Bella!? This year we have to get you a boyfriend! I'm coming over!"

"Why?" _please no, please no, please no..._

"To help get you ready of course!" oh boy.

"OK, yeah, sure." I said, sighing and easily giving in. I have long since learned you had no chance against Alice, she wan inhuman.

"Great! Be there in a bit. Jump in the shower!" Well now, that sucks.

I clicked the phone shut. And jumped in the shower. I came out smelling like strawberries, my plain brown hair already frizzing out over my head. Even when its wet, it poofs! I was sitting at my vanity, straightening my hair, when my blackberry vibrated again. I checked the screen, noting it was Alice and answered.

"Bella!" she squeaked before I could even say hello, "You locked your door! I told you I was coming, and I did, and I went to open the door, and it didn't open! I just tried to open a locked door! What if someone saw!?!?"

"Alice," I said, deciding it better to let her rant. "Its six thirty in the morning, who's up?"

" Bella, your neighbor Jasper is laughing at me from his bedroom window right now." she continued, hesitating, "Bella... he's not wearing a shirt..." her voice sounded genuinely in fear, and slightly in awe.

I couldn't help it, I cracked up, this was too funny.

"BELLA!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming..." I said fighting back more laughter. I got up, going down the stairs once again to let her in. I hung up my phone as I opened the door. "goodmor-" My words got cut off as Alice pushed her way past me, into my house, and up my stairs,

"ISABELLA SWAN" She yelled from my room.

"Coming..." I mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear. When I got to my room I was not surprised to see that Alice had completely changed my joint bathroom into a mini salon. She sat me in a chair and started adding curls to my straightened hair.

"Now, the key is to look confident, walk like you own the place. You wanna look like your exceptionally beautiful without even trying." Alice began. "you have to look hot for the first day, not too hot though, don't want to raise expectations too high. So we'll do your hair a tad nicer, and some nice jeans, with an 'i wear this all the time and I rock it' shirt. Which gives off the whole 'I don't care' and 'I don't even have to try' look." Alice finished her usual rant. one hour later Alice had me in dark skinnyjeans with a simple Grey worn-out tank top and my black leather jacket. Thankfully, she let me wear my ratty old etnies, saying I needed to 'accent with my own personal style.'

I avoided Alice's attempts at persuading me to ride with her in her Porsh turbo 911, opting to ride to school on my slick black Ducati. I tied my hair up, and put on my black riding boots, heading into the garage and getting my helmet off the wall and opening the garage door. I swung my leg over and took off for school.

My favorite thing is speed. I love to go as fast as possible and keep tense on the edge. I love when its poring rain, and the water hits me hard drenching the ends of my hair that show through the bottom of my helmet, feeling the drops run inside my collar and down my back sending me chills, It makes me feel so alive. Today was not raining too hard, so the ground wasn't as wet, meaning I could go faster. I was sad when I pulled into the school parking lot, knowing that my fun was over. I pulled into my usual spot, which wasn't really a spot at all, just a small section between a car and the curb next to some tables. I took of my helmet and shook my hair out, knowing Alice would get upset if i messed up my hair. I looked around, noticing people staring at me and felt my cheeks heating up with a blush. From the tables to my left I heard a roar of a laugh, jumping slightly i looked to see who had created such a sound. Several things happened within a second of each other and the only way to explain is in steps. First: a large built guy with a large dimple smile and curly brow hair was looking at something with amusement on his face. Second: a beautiful blond girl standing to his right was smacking his arm, looking happy herself. Third: Jasper standing to the first guy's left, looking serious but entertained. All three looking at the same thing. I followed there eyes and froze. In front of me was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen, staring at me.

I nearly fell off my bike.


	2. can't stop talking

Disclaimer: I only own the plot, and a bunch of pennies.

Chapter 2

_Move move move! Come on Bella, it just a guy. Since when have they been so important. Just change your shoes, and go to class! Just move! _My pep talk was failing miserably. I sat there, stunned, until Alice came behind my back and covered my eyes, singing "Guess who!" The momentary absence of vision shook me from the strange spell I was under. Alice, being as freaky psychic as she is, followed my previous gaze and almost froze herself.

"See anything you like?" asked the guy with the curly brown hair.

"Figures. Pigs." Alice muttered.

"Emmett" Jasper muttered in warning. He walked towards us, stopping in front of Alice. "Come on, I'll take you inside, you might need help with the door."

"I can get through a door perfectly fine, thank you. Now introduce me and Bella to these new people."

"This is my cousin Rosalie, her boyfriend Emmett, and his brother, my best friend, Edward. Rose and Em are seniors, and Eddie-"

"Edward" his voice, my god.

"Is a junior like us." Jasper finished.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Alice, and this is my best friend Bella."

I had taken this time to change my shoes and get off my bike. When I looked up to say hello, I almost froze again. Thankfully, Alice caught on and jabbed me _hard _in the side, "Hello." I said quietly before turning to run inside.

"She's shy." I heard Alice say as I walked farther. Suddenly large arms wrapped around me and lifted me off the ground.

"What the fuck!" I yelled

"Ahh, so she does talk." The large guy said, Emmett. "And she's got a mouth. Nice."

"Sorry, hi, my name is Bella."

"Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella."

"Yes?" I asked wondering if he was always this weird, or if he got dropped on his head recently.

"How old are you?"

"15"

"Your so young!" a new voice said, I looked up to see the rest had gathered around. And _he_, Edward, was talking to me. My mouth could only open and close in response.

"Yup! She's almost 16 though. In two weeks." Alice. My savior.

"But most juniors are almost seventeen, how come your so young?" he asked, still talking to me.

" I skipped." I said, finding my voice. Edward quirked and eyebrow. "I moved here from living with my mother in phoenix right before middle school, and they had me take a bunch of tests, then told me to go in as a seventh grader, rather than a sixth." Why am I saying all this!? _God, Bella, shhhh! He's going to think your weird. Well, you are, but play it down geez!_

"Really? Thats cool, you must be very smart. We'll have to hang out some time. See if I found a real challenge." He said smirking with just half his lips. Its official, angels exist.

"Sure, you guys are sitting with us at lunch I assume? Since jasper does." Where am I getting this confidence!?

"Yeah, probably" his said, his smile growing wider. I turned to go to my first class, when his hand grabbed my arm, "Can you show me to first period biology?" Nodding, I led him through the hallways without talking, I was worried my voice would betray me. "Great, thanks." he said as he turned to enter the class room. Not noticing me follow him in. We walked in, looked at the smart board with the seating chart, and found ourselves sitting together in the back. "Your in this class then?" he asked

"No, I just got transferred in when I learned you were in the class, then bribed the teacher to let me sit by you." I said in a dead serious voice. He only raised his eyebrows at me. "Cause, like, yeah." I said in a nasal voice while flipping my hair and jerking my head. He started laughing, and from there we fell into a comfortable conversation. That is, until Jessica Stanley decided to visit out table.


	3. binders and bitches

Disclaimer: I only own the plot and season 1-6 of Gilmore Girls

Chapter 3

God, Bella is so hot. Just seeing her ride into the parking lot with her legs straddling that goddamn lucky Ducati, gives me the sudden need to hold my binder in front of me. Bella herself isn't very hot, she doesn't wear any make up besides lip gloss, and she is totally inexperienced and shy. Those kinds of girls are no fun. But there is something about a girl on a bike that really gets a guy going. I watched her ride to her usual spot, watched as her and Alice started talking to some people. Watched as she slid of her bike and bent down to change her shoes, her shirt riding up and showing me her back. OK, so Bella has a nice body. She's thin got a thin waist and a small ass, with thighs that are nice too look at, instead of those bony anorexic thighs. And her breasts are small, but not to small. They exist, and thats about it. Just the right size to fit in my hands. She's got this damn sexy collar bone and shoulders though. Her bones peak through and they just make you want to suck a hickey right there for the world to see. She would be the perfect conquest, if she had a pretty face. Her face still has its baby fat, giving her huge cheeks. Her hair is cut short but I remember in seventh grade when it was long and she looked absolutely gorgeous. I hope she lets it grow. It seems like every three weeks she has a new hair style.

"Angel!" I heard my friend mike call me. I turned to see him and my other friends walking towards me. I nodded my head and led them inside. My binder still safely in front of me. I walked into Mr. Banner's biology class, reading the smart board, found I sat next to Jessica Stanley in the front row. _Great_. Me and Jessie have been off an on for two years. I mostly use her when I need a fuck. Like now. I'm in it pure for the bliss, and Jessie whispers "I love you"s to me afterward. Not exactly the way I feel back. I felt a hand creep under the desk towards me.

"What has you so excited?" her nasal voice said. "Need some help?" not wanting to talk to her, I nod my head yes, while she begins to help calm me down.

Mr. Banner tells the class to just hang out for the last 15 minutes of class. I get up to go talk to Eric, not caring about Jessica sitting alone. Surprisingly she doesn't follow me. Maybe she's better this year.

"Who do you think you are, bitch!?" I heard her shriek. I turned to see her standing in front of Bella. Nope. Worse, definitely worse.

"Jessica. Office. Now." Mr. Banner said, his pencil pointing towards the door. How stupid could she be? To say that so loud? Although, I have to give her props for figuring out it was Bella who had me all excited. Ten minutes later the bell rang and we left for our next classes

~*~

Damn. This school is going to be interesting. First I see the most beautiful woman, then I find the nerve to talk to her. Then I grab her arm. Now we're sitting together and she laughed at something I said and all I can think about is how cute her laugh is, that I didn't even notice a skinny anorexic bitch walking towards us until she yelled in Bella's face. Bella didn't even flinch. God, this woman was amazing. She opened her mouth to say something back when Mr. Banner cut her off, sending Jessica to the office. We spent the last ten minutes of class sharing schedules.

Mine:

Block A

1st – Biology

3rd – Art

Lunch

5th – Algebra 2

7th – Free

Block B

2nd – History

4th – English

Lunch

6th – Gym

8th – Study Hall

Bella:

Block A

1st – Biology

3rd – Gym

Lunch

5th – Algebra 2

7th – Free

Block B:

2nd – Art

4th – History

Lunch

6th – Gym

7th – Study Hall

"I don't have you again till lunch. But I think Alice has Art next." she said.

"Thats to bad, I'd ask you to show me where art is, but you probably have to go get changed, huh."

"Actually art is on its own floor. Just go to the 3rd floor and its the last door on your right."

"How come it has its own floor?" I asked, more out of wanting to hear her talk than anything.

"Because the rooms are large for the drawing boards to fit, and the walls are complete windows so we can paint or draw whats outside. And it has to be high up so we can see more from the windows." she said.

I opened my mouth to say something else when the bell rang. She smiled at me and left the room first.


	4. wispered i love yous

Disclaimer: I only own the plot and my bunny pillow

Chapter 4

I walked into the cafeteria seeing Jasper waving to me from the line. I walked over and bought an apple and a lemonade, following him to an empty table.

"Where are the rest?" I asked. Jasper pointed to the end of the line, the first thing I saw was Bella, then I saw Alice, and two other guys and another girl. "Rose? Em?"

Jasper looked pained. "janitors closet."

I scrunched up my nose, the last thing I need to know about is my brothers sex life. "Before I forget, Esme wants you and rose over for dinner. And your non existing girlfriend."

"Oh, god. I forgot. Shit, what am I going to do?"

"Hmmm, i don't know,how about tell her you don't have one." i said sarcasticly.

"I can't do that! She'll try setting me up on dates again!" Jazz replied, not understanding my humor.

"Then ask someone out. Anybody you interested in?"

"Yeah, theres one girl, but if I ask her, she'll think I only asked her because I needed a date, not because I like her."

"Then tell her that you were going to ask her anyways, and this just helped you get your nerves."

"Ugh, fine. When is dinner?"

"Tonight"

"Shit" Jasper got up.

"Oh, Jazz," Edward said, stopping him, "Have her bring Bella."

"You fucker, you knew I was into Alice! You planned this!" he said, a smile forming on his lips.

"You're into me?" a small voice said behind him. Jaspers face completely drained of colour.

He spun around, facing her "umm.."

"I see, excuse me then." she said, turning around and, dumping her untouched food into the garbage, left.

"Shit!" Jasper said again. Following after her.

"finally!" mumbled Bella ass she sat down across from me. The two guys sitting on each side of her and the girl sitting at the end. "Edward," my name, plus her lips, equals perfection. Pointing to her right she said "This is Jacob," then to her left "and Ben. Next to Ben is Angela, his girlfriend."

"Is Jacob your boyfriend then?" I asked, before I could even think.

She and Jacob only laughed though, "Nah, she's my older sister. Different moms, same dad. I live with my mum though. She lives with dad." Jacob said, answering for Bella.

"Oh, are you and Alice related too?" I asked, relieved. Wait. Relieved? Why?

"Cousins. If you go back far enough, most of Forks is related to each other somewhere down the line. Usually by marriage. Otherwise we'd be freaky mutants from incest."

"Yeah, Bells and Angela are third cousins by blood though. See the brown hair resemblance? Any they both have a freckle on their-"

"Jake!"

I looked at Jacob as he mouthed the word 'vadge' to me. I raised my eyebrows. 'later' he mouthed back. I nodded turning to Bella.

"So lets say Rose and my brother get married, then Alice and Jasper get married, we'd be cousins too?"

"very distantly, but yes."

"And I'd be related to... where did they go?" I asked noticing Angela and Ben were gone.

"Janitors closet"

"I hope the closet is big."

she laughed, "Why do you say that?"

"Rose and Em are there too, though, knowing Emmett, the more the merrier!"

"Poor Angela." she said laughing.

"Hey, there's Leah, bye Edward, By Bells!" Jake said, kissing Bella's cheek and walking off to a girl with black hair and kissing her full on the lips.

"So, seeing as Jake isn't your boyfriend," I started still watching Jake and Leah, even though I could feel her eyes penetrate me. "which of these lucky bastards is?"

"None."

My head snapped to gaze in her eyes. They held me there for what seemed like days.

~*~

"Alice! Alice!" I heard him yell behind me. I kept walking forward. Faster. I couldn't let him see me like this. How could I have let myself get like this? Here I am, walking away from a guy I'm crazy for. I guess this is what I get for realizing to late and getting my hopes up. How could this have happened? I felt his arms wrap around me, the tears breaking away from my eyes and leaving trails down my cheeks. He took my hand and led me to his locker, he took off his shoes, and opened his locker, throwing them in. holding his hand out for mine. Choosing not to think, I handed them to him along with my sweater. He smiled slightly and took his off as well. We walked outside, hand in hand, he wearing dark denim jeans and a v-neck sweater, me wearing a simple white dress. We walked out of the school parking lot and kept walking. After about twenty minutes of walking barefoot through the streets, we stopped on the curb of one of Fork's busier streets.

"Ready?" he asked. I only nodded. He pulled my hand and we ran between the cars, standing in the middle of the two double yellow lines. The rain started pouring harder, drenching our hair and clothes. And for once, I didn't care. Jasper stood facing me. I took a step closer. He wrapped me into his arms, pulling me closer as well. Then, he kissed me. It was perfect. His lips molded perfectly to mine just as my body molded perfectly into his embrace. After a while I started to get lightheaded from a lack of oxygen, as jasper pulled away, he whispered,

"I love you Alice."

"I love you too Jasper."

**thank you teamjasper11! Your the first to favorite Chaotic Heart! The Jasper action is for you!**

**please take my poll on my profile and review! if you have any ideas, please tell me. they really help get my brain working, and i will most likely work something off of them for this story or for another story i'm working on! next chapter is edward and jakes talk if freckles and esme's dinner! hope you enjoy! the more reviews and response, the more i write!**

**Peace out! -sammistar**


	5. freckles, dinner, fight

Disclaimer: I only own the plot and notebook.

Chapter 5

"Really?" I asked, disbelieving.

Jake nodded, "I swear, every female with the same blood as Bella and Angela, has a freckle right next to there vadge. They get it from Charlie's side."

"And how do you know this?" I could feel my eyebrows raise in question.

"Me and Bella are the same age," he started

"how?" I started to interrupt, but he only raised his hand

"We've grown up so close to each other, and we know everything about each other. Heck, we have a tradition of skinny-dipping in my neighbors pool ever summer. I mean, it's not like we would do anything wrong, we share blood!"

"First, how are you the same age? And how do you know about Angela? And the rest of the women?" I asked, slightly scared to know.

"I really shouldn't tell you about that, the age I mean, its really not my story to tell. And I heard Angela and Bella talking about it."

"You can't tell me?" I asked, not caring about the stupid freckle anymore.

"Sorry man. Bella will when she's ready."

~*~

Me and Alice were in my room getting ready for the dinner that Edwards mother, Esme, is having, when suddenly says to me, "He kissed me in the rain."

"Jasper?" I asked, she only nodded, seeming unable to do more in her her numbed state.

"Wow. I guess you got your happy ending, huh?"

instead of replying with the normal "yes" or "no" she said:

"He told me he loves me." maybe it was the way she said it, so sure and definite, or maybe it was the way that I knew it was true, how I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her, but something made me scared. Quite possibly I was scared of her reply, and quite possibly, I was scared that she had grown beyond me. That I was still elementary school Bella with an innocent mind.

"What did you say?" I asked, hoping she didn't notice my hesitation. If she did, however, she ignored it.

"That I did. That I do. Oh Bella! It feels so wonderful when you can tell somebody 'I love you' and really truly mean it and know it is true with your whole heart! I mean, not like when you tell it to your mum, or dad, but when you tell it to somebody that you just know is perfect!"

I had no reply. I could only fake sudden interest in my hands curled in my lap.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No its OK. I know." you all are probably wondering why I am not squealing in excitement for my friend, well its a very complicated story that is hard for me to go into, it started when me and Jake where born. All you need to know now is that I absolutely never say the three words "I love you" not to my father, not to my friends, not even to Jacob.

She was about to reply when her phone vibrated, she looked at the screen and muttered "Jasper" before looking up at me and asking, "ready?" I nod my head yes, and we head down stairs and into Jaspers car, still parked in the driveway of his house next door.

"that makes things a lot easier" he said, noting our close proximity.

Thirty minutes later, we're standing in front of the most gorgeous house you can even imagine, the front porch was laced with flowers and vines, contrasting the outer walls which were painted a pristine white, and through the windows you could see the warm colours of the interior decorating. Jasper, being the only out of the three, stepped up to knock on the door.

~*~

Esme had sent me to answer the door, and I can't say I was complaining. I knew who it would be, Emmett had gone to get Rose, but he would have just came in. Bella, however, would knock.

When I answered the door, I only say Jasper. My disappointment must have shown on my face however, because Jasper hitched his thumb over his shoulder hitch-hiker style. Following the thumb, I saw Alice looking up in awe at our house, and besides her, was a girl who's innocence I had once found refreshing clouded by mystery and tragedy. Though- of tragedy I was unsure. I was trust worthy, she could tell me. Besides it could only help her if she tells me. I usher the three of them into the dinning room, where Esme was setting the table with spaghetti and meatballs that smelt delicious.

"I'm sorry Carlisle couldn't make it, he had an emergency at work."

"Oh, is everything alright?" sweet Bella asked.

"Yes, it'll be fine hon." Esme reassured her, seeming pleased by her reaction.

Bella nodded and sat next to me at the table. Just when Esme was about to sit, Emmett burst into the dinning room with Rosalie in tow.

"Hello mum... sorry we're late." Esme nodded her head, but gave them a disproving look. Emmett smiled cheekily and pulled out a chair for Rose. I saw a look that said "My boys" cross Esme's lovely face.

"Well, now that we're all here, dig in!" she said throwing Em a look.

~*~

The entire dinner, I felt like _I _was dinner the way she was grilling me with questions about Alice.Thankfully Alice came to my rescue:

"We met a few years ago, because he is Bell's neighbor, and the three of us always hung out, and one day, we were at an amusement park, and Bella had to use the restroom. So me and Jasper went on the ferris wheel, and up there, feeling free, it... just happened." she finished with such a sincere smile on her face, even I almost believed her.

"Oh, that is so sweet! Who knew little Jaspie would grow up to be such a charmer?" Esme looked so pleased, as though I was one of her sons, who was grown up.

The rest of dinner was more of the same, nothing too interesting, just a normal dinner between six teenagers and a middle-age woman. After dinner, I took an eager Alice on a tour of the house, while Rose and Em disappeared into the den.

~*~

Now was a good chance, and i'd be a fool if didn't take it.

"Bella, care to join me on the porch?" she smiled an nodded her head in response. We helped Esme clean all the dishes, and excused ourselves from the dinner and made our way out front, the screen door closing loudly behind us.

~*~

Me and _Jaspie _were making our way down the stairs after the tour when I heard the front screen shut loudly. I looked through to see Edward and Bella. Once I noticed it was them, I immediately sat down for the show. Sadly, from here I could not here what they were saying, only muffled voices, I made to move forward, but jasper held me back, a finger over his lips.

"Look" he whispered. I looked. Bella was looking extremely pissed. And Edward looked annoyed. Bella raised her hands Above her head in frustration and her groans carried inside to the stairs. Bella came in after that, kissed my cheek, grabbed her sweater and said she was leaving.

"How? You don't have a car..."

"I'll walk." she said. Her voice stubborn. She marched out the door, leaving an Edward fuming on the porch.

"We better go Jazz..." I mumbled, he nodded his head and we followed her out the door. Me, refusing to make eye contact with Edward, and Jasper saying "Sorry, man"


	6. kiss in the piss room

Disclaimer: I only own the plot and my two reviews. [review people!]

Chapter 6

"Bella!" I heard my name from behind me.

"Hmm?" I said as the owner of the voice caught up to me.

"How are you?" the voice said.

"Who are you?" I replied, not caring to make small talk with somebody I don't know.

"My name's Angel" he said, his hazel eyes piercing into my own.

"OK..."

"Aren't you going to tell me yours?"

"Why? You called me, you obviously know it."

"Hey bells!" I heard Emmett call before Angel could retort.

"Hey Em, whats up?"

"Umm.. I just need your help, can you come with me?"

"Sure." I said, following him while looking back to give Angel a small wave. Looking back and walking forward didn't work as well as I had hoped it would though. I crashed into something, or rather _someone. These damn freshman, they are so tiny I keep walking into them, why don't they watch where they're going!? _I looked to see which freshman I had hit this time, only to find that it was no freshman at all. It was Edward Cullen.

"_Bella, you can trust me, right?"_

"_Umm.. sure. I mean, I don't really know you much."_

"_Well, I want you to know you can tell me anything."_

"_That's sweet, than-"_

"_I want you to tell me everything. That way your not keeping it in. I'm being helpful."_

"_Umm, maybe. Yeah."_

"_Great, go ahead and start."_

"_Wait- now!?"_

"_Mmhhmm"_

"_I'd really rather not..."_

"_Say it."_

"_No."_

"_Yes"_

"_What are you, five?"_

"_Bella.."_

"_Edward.."_

"_Tell me!"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because, it will only help you!"_

"_Maybe I don't want help! Maybe I don't want to think about it! Maybe you should butt the hell out!"_

_That was Tuesday. Of last week. Today is Thursday._

"Can we talk?'' He asked.

"I'm kinda busy" I replied, scanning the hall way for Emmett. How can somebody so big, hide so well? "Please?" he asked, jutting out his bottom lip. I only huffed and made no mood to leave. A huge smile took his face as he grabbed my hand and led me down the hall, and into the boys room, where two guys were at the urinals. "hey boys, zip up!" he called, and surprisingly, with no comments or suggestive hand motions, they did. When they were out, he turned to me, "Bella."

"...Edward."

"I'm sorry."

"For?" Did he honestly think I'd let him off that easy?

"Whatever I did to make you mad." his voice was so calm, so insincere,

"You don't even know. How can you not do it again if you don't know?" I asked, getting my nerves worked up.  
"will you tell me then?" he replied. His nerves getting worked up as well.

"why should I? How do you know we're even gonna get along after that?" I asked

"I do" he said with a straight face.

"You do what" I asked, my brain befuddled.

"i know."

"how could you possibly know? What are you? God? You're pretty full of yourself then, huh? You probably go home and stare at your pretty face in the mirror for hours. Y-" I ranted, and would have continued if he hadn't interrupted me.

"you think my face is pretty?"

"yeah...well.. thats becau- Don't get a swelled head! Whats that smirk for?" I was flustered. Why can he make me flustered?

He didn't reply. Instead, he backed me up into the door and kissed me. The first thought that went through my head was _first kiss_ then, reality set in, _Edward. _No no no! Wait- am I kissing back? I can't be! There is no way somebody would kiss me! This has to be a joke! Oh god Oh god.. when Edward broke the kiss for air, I slipped out of his arms and tried to open the door. But he wouldn't have it. His hand came to caress my cheek. But I turned away from it and he got the message, letting me open the door and slip through the open door to the empty hallways. The bell had rung, _how did I miss that!? _I took off speed walking toward the parking lot, right now I really needed a ride.

I got on my bike, turning the throttle, and my radio blared out at me:

"_ice. I repeat all you folks driving out there, be careful, and pull over if necessary, there is ice on the rodes, we've already had two collisions, a two car and a single. Please be careful and I hope you make it home s-" _

I shut the radio off muttering "Pansies" under my breath, and drove out into the streets.

Driving down the street felt like pure bliss. I felt as though I lost all unpleasant thoughts in the wind blowing past me. I drove further and further away, eager to escape my problems, besides, thats what I do best, I run away.

I was closing in on the boundaries of Forks. There's a word I really don't like, _boundaries, _it makes me feel so confined. I push the bike faster, desperate to escape the chains holding me to forks. _Faster faster faster _I came to a bend in the road _so close so close_. My wheels hit the ice and the control I had on my bike was slipping away. The wheels start coming out from under me as I desperately try to right myself. The trees were fast approaching and the only thing coherent to my disoriented mind was the searing pain coursing through my body at the impact.

I had crashed

**Review!!!! thank you to those who reviewed, and for those 59 hits and 22 visitors, your halfway there! Just review!!! and don't forget my poll!**


	7. caring is soooo last year

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot and my articles for newsletter that I should be writing instead of this.**

Chapter 7

I woke up to a white, sterile room that I knew all to well. Looking over to the door, I found my suspicions correct. _Hospital. _When I was about six, I had fallen from a tree house, and had to stay in the hospital for two weeks, and I missed my class field trip to an aquarium that has since shut down. One of my nurses spent all her breaks in this room painting my name over the door, just like it was in my bedroom. I had hit my head pretty hard when I fell, and Charlie always jokes that it made me loose my sense of balance because ever since then I've been so clumsy. Do to my accident prone state, the Hospital agreed to leave my name above the door, some doctors have told me that they find it a soothing anecdote to tell patients.

A man wearing scrubs and a white coat walked in, "Hello Bella. My name is Dr. Cullen."

"Cullen? As in Edw-...Emmett's father?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I missed your dinner last week, I'm afraid I had to work." he said, gesturing around him to the hospital.

"Oh.... thats OK Dr. Cullen." I said trying to act perfectly at ease, though I was really starting to freak out. "um, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to Dr. Taylor?"

Carlisle suddenly looked very uncomfortable, "he uh, was fired, due to inappropriate behavior with some of his patients. You wouldn't..." he began, eyeing me.

"Oh, god no. ick." I rushed to reply

"Ah, I new my son picked a good girl."

"Um, what?"

"Didn't Edward bring you home? Gosh, he was so exited he couldn't stop talking about you before Tuesday. But since then, he's been moping around in his playing room."

I don't know what shocked me the most, Edwards dad saying 'gosh' or the fact that Edward was talking about me. "Eh, play room?"

"He hasn't told you? Edward plays the piano. He even won a few medals."

"No, I'm sorry sir, me an Edward aren't really...." I drifted off.

"What do you - " he began, but was cut off by Charlie shoving the door so hard it banged against the wall loudly

"dad! I'm so sor-"

"Save it Isabella! I knew that motorcycle was too dangerous! I trusted you! You promised not to do anything reckless. And I trusted you. I'm happy your bike is trashed into a lump of metal, one less thing to worry about! From now on, you walk. Everywhere. I don't care if its raining, or snowing, or what, but as long as you live in my house, you will not be on or in any vehicles I deem to dangerous! That includes Alice's Porsche!"

By the end of this I was crying. He was taking away everything! He was taking away speed. He was taking away my freedom. Ugh. Sometimes really I hate him.

~*~

I was in the waiting room, pacing, waiting for my father to come out of bella's room. I looked up at the sound of yelling. I was about to go in and yell at whoever the fuck was yelling at Bella, when my father walked out shaking his head at me. He knew me to well.

"Give her some time, son. Let the people she cares about see her." ouch. Was that his way of subtly hinting that she doesn't care about me? Knowing it was probably true, I nodded my head and left for the parking lot._ I don't deserve her anyways._

~6 Days Later~

Ugh. School. They finally let me out of the hospital yesterday, I had brocken three ribs, and my left arm in two places. I still had bandages covering the left side of my head, but it wasn't that bad. The pain I could deal with, the pain I wad used to. The attention, however, I was not. I kept my head low, as I slowly manuvered my way through the halls, until I heard something that made me freeze.

"Hey, you okay?" I had been asked this all day, but coming from him, made it all the much better. I looked up expecting to see Edward looking at me, but instead, he was talking to some blond bitch, putting his hand on the side of her cheek. Did he not even notice me? I got really pissed off, why do I care whether he's with that slut or not? Just to show him, I walked past. Shoving him into the lockers with my right shoulder. _Ha! Take that bastard! _

"oh, shhh- Bella! Bella wait!" I heard him come after me, and I started to run, I went through the back doors to the field, but, being the Klutz I am, I tripped over god knows what, and fell. He caught up to me then, helping me off the floor and wiping my tear stained cheeks with his thumbs. I hadn't even known I was crying, much less why I was crying. Or right, he was always on my mind, and after he took my first kiss, he was even in my dreams.

"Bella... that was nothing. I opened my locker and accidentally hit her in the head as she was walking by. Honest! I care about you Bella, I'm not like that."

I snapped, which I seemed to be doing a lot lately "you care!? Bull shit! You don't fucking give a damn!"

"Yes I do I-"

"Did you come visit me!? Did you come once, in the seven days I was at the hospital!? Did you?" he's silent. I mutter "didn't think so" I was so over this. I was over theesed mixed feelings. "I'm out of here" I said, turning toward the forest and walking away. His eyes burning holes in my back.

**Sooooo.... waddaya think?**


End file.
